It’s Just a Game!

I went on to Facebook and Mafia Wars and one of the people that I had befriended and taken into my Mafia had declared war on me.  It is 9 hours ago now.  That was about lunch time which means I was just getting home from a regular meeting I go to and get home from and knew nothing about it.  Not only that, I did not see the voicemail from Unemployment today. 

So, by the time someone tells me it’s just a game, and after I get over being upset that he is a higher level than I am,  and I decide to attack him or whatever…I go in there to find out that all of my upper level Mafia has been wiped out, I am dead. 

This is now stirring up all kinds of emotions from long ago.  I mean I have lain in the water for a a period of time and come back to find my unit dying or dead. And later get assigned as a Radioman listening for oddball traffic.  The VC guy that shows me around the base shows up shortly there after with a live grenade in an attack, and I pick up the .45 automatic I keep on hand and blow him away in the blink of an eye without hesitating.  But then I shut down emotionally.  I could not handle it. 

And now I don’t want to play  Mafia Wars any more.  But, It’s only a game.  The really what I want to do is destroy the guy and all of his Mafia if I possibly can.  I am supposed to be a Christian, so I pray.  But, then what is it that I pray?  Psalm 35.  Contend O Lord, with those who Contend against me…

But, I really don’t want to play any more.  I have had enough of the games…maybe farming, later.  I will have to call one of my friends who plays the farming games…

It just stirred up all kinds of shit inside of me is what it did, damn it… that is what it did…Now I am really pissed because I really did not want to feel it, and thought I had dealt with it…What fun…But it’s just a game…

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