Will it ever go away?

I am commenting on Michael Yon’s  work.  I write to him as a Veteran I appreciate his work.  I am playing Farmville, Mafia Wars…etc., chit-chatting with people all over the world, starting to listen to Carol King.   Michel Yon asked me, “what kind of situation was I in…then says oh never mind.”  

I want to answer him.  I don’t know how to.  The tears well up inside me.  All the feelings come to me all at the same time…Chu Lai…Stomping through the jungles before that…laying in the water for two days, holding Charles Washington as he died…

Seeing my mentor Morgan come back in a body bag…the things he use to tell me about what he suspected about what was going on…My final job in Chu Lai listening post and blowing the Viet Namese guy away when he came in with a grenade…spending the rest of my life trying to overcome all of that and wondering if any of it was real and not being able to find records of any of it…

Will the tears ever go away?  Will the feelings ever stop welling up inside me.  Will I ever stop questioning did it really happen?  I am really angry that my own government would screw me over and now I hear about those refusing  service to those in uniform out in California. 

It got to be where no one traveled in uniform in the 60’s, whereas you used to be able to get a discount if you did.  Now the same sh-t is starting all over again…F–k them all!!! 

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