Senior and Humor

Why I don’t usually use Coupons

I am looking a my receipt for items that I bought and saved $3.30  with coupons.  At first I had thought about just getting only the orange juice I needed and then at the last minute purchased  other stuff like Irish Oatmeal.  Turns out, I overdrew my bank account and luckily I had a feature that moved funds from my savings to my checking to cover the overdraft.  But, the feature cost me!!!

Normally I keep very close attention to my bank account moving from my saving account myself.  Well, this savings of $3.30 cost me $12.50 on my bank.  I think I should go to work for the government.  What do you think???

I can get a $3 savings for a cost of $12  if you vote for me!!!

A Cajun from Cut Off

 

A friend of mine sent this to me in an email:

Sitting together on a train was Obama, a Cajun from Cut Off, a little old
lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound
of a loud slap..

When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.    No one speaks.

The old lady thinks:
Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.

The blonde girl thinks:
Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the
old lady and she slapped him.

Obama thinks:
The Cajun must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him, but
missed and got me instead.

The Cajun thinks:
I can’t wait for another tunnel, so I can slap the shit out of Obama again.

WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

—–    WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

 
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

 
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.."

George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

 
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed.. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

 
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a  SWAT Team,

a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

 
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you’d shot them!"

 
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT!

 

Don’t mess with old people. 

I am getting older and older…